and sometimes you stop for a moment or less.. you think you heard a voice.. crying and asking you to stop.. look around but no one’s there so you just move on.
weeks or months or years pass by and then you stop again, hearing the same voice crying and begging you to stop for a minute. you do, and you look around. still no one’s there. but you remember you heard this before, and think harder what it could be.. then you start to feel something different. something from your heart, body, and mind. saying please look inside, we’re tired. and we cannot move one more inch this way. so you take a deep breath and wondering, for how long you have been neglecting this voice, for how many you been pushing yourself without you know. and then your tears fall.. as heavy and warm as the rain outside. you cannot stop them and neither you want to. so you just let yourself cry and cry..
Asking yourself, what have i done wrong? where did i fall off track.. but nothing can answer now, no one can help.. except your will to rise again. except the power you might still have within. so now you’re on an unconsciously crossroad, to let yourself flow with this pain, flow with your tears and keep going down, or push yourself harder, to recover, to take care and rise again.
and this is why i love pain and why i love the rain.. remind me of how strong i am as a pathetic human! how stronger i need to be and just then, I realize, there’s something bigger than us all, stronger than the clouds that hold all the rain drops, softer than the wind that moves them and i believe, it’s everything that we cannot (or think we can) explain.
It’s so easy to fall, so easy to go down and down.. so very easy to flow with the pain and never look back or front, and nothing easier than taking the easy way!
and then it’s so hard to trust the path of life, again. to throw yourself into life and embrace it, love it and enjoy it. harder to rise yourself from the bottom to up high. hard to fly. but it just needs the first step, to get up and believe that whatever is out there can be loved in a way or another. can be looked at from a bright shiny angle with wide glowing open eyes, hoping for better coming days, better path that is filled with roses and smiles. only if you really want them all.
Throw yourself up high..