Dec 13, 2008
Woke up at their shouting and fighting.. some misunderstanding of the concept of understanding i thought.. got up to check what was going on but no need even to try.. i did though.
Searching with my old stuff (Don’t know for what), found a letter was sent to me from a friend in Dec 2006. I started reading when it hit me that life is weird, so strangely weird. He sent this around the same time i opened it again after two years when we became so much closer like never before. he was talking about rain and night, about how life is weird and some times some people come your way like perfectly planned. Made me think of many things in my life..
Checked my email later and found an email from him, begins with “Who are you” sent at 4:43:02 AM the number 43 again!
Who am i? this is a huge question, not because of the three words it carries but the answer that will remain unsure. I’m just a girl who is trying to live like any other human on this earth? am i just a human who is trying to dig deeper in this life to reach something? am i the soul that wanders around the universe every night?
Reminds me of the book that i love but never completed, Sophie’s World by Jostein Gaarder. It’s not like I never thought of “who i am” and “what im doing here” etc.. but sometimes, some questions just strike you at a certain time for a certain reason. if you are lucky, you’ll know later why. so thinking of the answer for hours until realized that its not the answer that counts! when you ask yourself this question, don’t dig for an answer. its the question it self. You are who you are, but when you reach a point in your life most likely like a “check point” that drives you to this question, this means that you’re alive again and changing. like a rebirth!
As going on with decorating some thoughts with some words that makes a physical figure to my unheard thoughts, I go deeper in my inner mind and soul which leads one question to another, one answer to another possible answer for nothing is constant and nothing is certain except the existence of God, Allah or anything you call the supreme power that leads us and helps us, yet, we sometimes choose a different lane. I hate to put “him” in a certain form because he’s everything and like nothing.
Searching still among my stuff to find letters from USA, Australia, Germany, Lebanon and dono where also. what is the world except humans and nature sharing same land, same air, and same goals in different shapes. as simple as this, I don’t need to know more about you, do i?
Back to my day, wasting time as this is the last day of holiday vacation. “Too bad i thought it should be a week more!” I, surprised, tell myself.
They are back home, half successful half disappointed. It’s like life started again, phone rings, Door bells as well and some noises out side as I take another bar of chocolate and wake up from the soul wandering among thoughts.
Still some feelings strike me through the day.. feelings of missing, waiting, excitement, loving, and Peace like a thunderstorm and heavy rain by the sea 🙂