This could be just a word, a lifetime happiness/misery, or maybe a season in someone’s life, i’ve been through alot.. but i dono what love is tho i lived it many times! actually i am in love! am i? but a question that keeps spinning on my mind is: how much should love controls you? i mean it does somehow but should we let it just overcome us? This is one of the times im really lost.. i wrote about waitin for the perfect man and my bla bla bla about how to choose.. but i think im good only with words.. i’ve ruled my life pretty well till now, im 22 year old and its only couple of years till i think “Oh how life ran fast! i didnt know im 30” im havin this feelin now and it sux! cuz its related with EVERYTHING about my life, my family, my love life, opportunities ive missed, opportunies may come, my work life, my future, and most important my present! what am i doin? and am i leadin myself to a point where i cant even look back? am i there already? would it be too bad? or too good? sometimes when you have no hope in sth it turns out that it was the best! i hope so but its now without any hope at all!
Love is so simple yet so complicated, i know cuz i just know.. why it has to be so? this is what i dont know and this is what i dont want to know.. i cant say that im having a perfect life and not so doomed, but the thing is why when everything seem to be just fine, life strikes you at the points u most care about!!?? what if u just didnt care about anything and let love rules your life? will you be doomed at last? or will you be happy? its 50%-50%.. but at least you’ve done what you always wanted to.. was it? those are some of the questions and thoughts that keep me away from sanity and make me lose what left of cells in my mind..
Now, Just now, you have to choose between two things that draws your life’s line.. why now?? why love?? why the ppl i care about?? its between LOVE and the Whole world… but be aware that love may bring you later a huge part of the whole world or all of it.. and if you choose the whole world it may bring you love, later.. AND MAYBE NOT!!! which one will you be happy with? havent you been in such situation?? hope things were easier with you..
and yes! im insane..